LP: Hi Zille

i want to say that love darkplay and your description of the site

"...Its is all play for us: we only do stuff we find pleasurable and exciting. ... We come to sex / BDSM with the attitude of children Ñ we feel life is deadly serious enough, sex and BDSM should not be.... As for dark - yes, we play intensely, and on "the edge"."

i love the realness (is that a word?) and the intensity.. I love the freedom of sexual expression and the humor.. and like many others before me i am enamored of both you and Alexi.

Zille: Uh, really? heheh! Cool! (sorry, what else can I say ... except thank you, and that to have a woman as hot and intelligent as you be enamored of me is an amazing compliment!)

LP: So from the fan in me: Do you have a fan club?

Zille: Yes, right now we have a Yahoo club, a weekly (more-or-less) email list, and we will soon be putting up a forum on the site, because it seems too far away on Yahoo. I want our members to get to know us and each other, and to get an opportunity to post up comments, ideas, etc. without having to leave the site.

They might be called fan clubs, but I see them as more about the fans than about us. They might be our fans, but I am so fond of them for signing up, for taking time out of their lives to write to us, that in the end I am the fan of my fans. Did that make sense?

LP: When did you decided to create DarkPlay. ... I mean how did it come about?

Zille: Well, after I had been modeling for about 4 years, something had to break. Some shoots were good and fun and rewarding, but some were horrible, with men trying to touch me or even to jerk off during the shoot. And I got so sick of doing solo masturbation shoots! I mean, you donÕt really come when you do them, but often you have to fake it for a video. ItÕs so un-sexy, just putting on some dumb lingerie, and masturbating the way you never would at home by yourself, to get off. And, as a photographer, I was often a better artist than the guys taking pictures of me, and the results often were depressingly bad. And if it was for a website, they would post *all* the images of me, not just the good and sexy ones, but the ones where I was caught mid-blink and looked like I was on crack. [grins] And most pornographers would not let me work with Alexi, because she is butch, and theyÕd give these excuses about how sheÕd scare off the customers (as a point of fact, Alexi gets more fan mail than I do, from *men*!) Since I am fluid-bonded with Alexi, she is the only one IÕd do un-safe-sex with (or was, we are now fluid-bonded with Ondine!) and so if I was working with another girl, IÕd get all this pressure to have un-safe-sex with her, on the premise that "safe sex isnÕt sexy!" IÕd try to explain to them that getting an STD is a good deal less sexy, but they really didnÕt care about the girls they shot. But I didnÕt want to give up modeling, just have it be fun and safe all the time.

So Alexi and I decided to start a site where we would be in control: of the shoots, of the pictures, of everything that we thought we could do better. This was just a pipe-dream until we met R. St. Laurents, our photographer. We had finally found someone who took pictures as good as what we visualized the shoot to be, and also wanted to go in on the business with us. Then, I had to learn HTML overnight (I already had some graphics design skills, and I knew magazine layout), and we suddenly had to make our dream a reality ASAP. I think it turned out ok, considering how little I knew when it first went up! The DarkPlay you see know has been over-hauled extensively twice since then, though!

LP: Where did Daddy and the schoolgirl scenario come from?

Zille: Well, thatÕs the really controversial one Ñ and you went right for it! [Laughs] Alexi and I have been playing that game ever since we read Doing It For Daddy by Pat Califia (http://www.patcalifia.com) It was, to us, a logical extension of the Top/bottom play we had been doing since we first met.

I was scared when we put it up that it might keep some women from signing up. By "some women", I mean of course women who have been abused. But we have gotten no backlash (yet), no complaints. We are not belittling any womanÕs experiences, or condoning the actual act of incestual pedophilia, we are just doing play with a taboo (although it is obviously not a powerful enough taboo! I mean, if the cannibalism taboo was as often broken as incest/pedophilia, well, weÕd have much less of an over-population problem!), just as we are doing with the Master/slave power exchange. It is against all our teachings as young Americans to put ourselves into someone elseÕs power Ñ and espcially to have the desire to be submissive is seen as going against feminism and even "the American way"! But these are just bedroom games (although in our case, porn site games as well!) They are fantasy, and fantasy is one way people have of dealing with powerful urges. ItÕs the best way, because if you can act them out to fullfillment in the bed-room, or jerking off to them online, then you do not need to act them out in real life.

ItÕs nice to be a little girl again for a while. Besides the sex part, itÕs nice to have your Daddy take you on his big safe warm lap and hold you and pet your hair and tell you everything is okay. I mean, after childhood is done you are expected not to need that anymore. But sometimes you do! You canÕt retreat from your troubles into fantasy and not deal with them, but you can take a break from them and come back to them refreshed and ready to deal with the world. And thatÕs the whole point of play, itÕs something in your life that makes the hard stuff easier to deal with. It can be playing racket-ball, going hot-tubing with friends, or doing kinky stuff in the bedroom.

A funny thing is that Daddy and/or Mommy play is really big in the queer BDSM community. (Although I hear more het people are playing with that dynamic now, too.) One night, at dungeon we loved to play at, it was really funny because from one corner youÕd hear "Oh, yes! Daddy!" from someone being fisted in the sling, and then in another corner youÕd hear a sub counting off spanks, "One, Momma, Two, Momma, Three, Momma!" and so on. Which is one reason you have to keep your sense of humor in the BDSM scene, or else all the funny moments go right over your head!

LP: I noticed you have others... it is almost like tuning into a monthly show - watch the next installment of ... rather cool idea - what other things do you have in store for the d/p fans along these lines?

Zille: Actually, it is kind of like a weekly serial, as we often have way too much content to go up in one upload. Most DarkPlay shoots end up as installments running 2 to 4 weeks. Our members seem to really like that. We have members who signed up the first week and are still members!

We recenly did a really awesome shoot catering to plushie and looner fetishists (for those who donÕt know those terms, plushies like to fuck stuffed animals, and looners get off on balloons Ñ either the balloon itself or the popping of balloons.) But even if that is not your fetish, these images are worth looking at for the 3 hot gals who are frolicking and playing with each other. This was one of the most fun shoots ever Ñ we all channeled this really child-like sexuality and were just having fun sticking the nearest object into a hole like "LetÕs see if this fits here!" or just getting off on rubbing against fur or rubber-latex. Of course, it didnÕt hurt that we were all really hot for each other, and it really could be seen as an excuse for Ondine and I to get into SybilÕs pants. But if there is a better excuse for a porn shoot, I certainly canÕt think of it! "LetÕs get these really bored girls to do things that donÕt turn them on so they can get paid," just doesnÕt cut it!

We also have a really hot shoot of Ondine and I in beautiful vintage lingerie, by a roaring fire. We have more anal sex on the way, at the request of members, and also some smoking fetish and much more bondage Ñ some suspension this time! Oh, and pix of Ondine getting her second clit hood piercing, me worshipping Ondine's (very worship-worthy) boots, Alexi and this other hot Domme topping me, fairy bondage, this hot 20's fetish shoot, Oh! Ñ we have so much good stuff I wish I could upload all of it at once!

LP: Curiosity Killed the cat? I guess I am really innocent or sheltered but I had never heard of knife play - and appreciated your description. Tell me how did the idea to try this come about? Was it exciting? Would you do it again?

Zille: Well, knife-play is not a common BDSM practice, it is a bit on the extreme side [grins], so there is no shame in not knowing all about it! I have always been attracted to knives, and started collecting them in high school Ñ to my motherÕs great dismay I may add! My uncle took me out to buy my first one, and told my mom not to be silly! Of course, if heÕd have know that I was going to cut myself and let others cut me, he might not have bought me the knife either!

People always have that "Ah! ItÕs mutilation! ItÕs not healthy!" opinion to cutting. But anything can be unhealthy if you have an unhealthy attitude towards it. The scars I have are a part of my body, part of my self image, now. Some of them show on the outside what is scar tissue on my soul, but some are just pretty to me.

The first time I remember getting turned on by knives was when I read a Japanese fairy tale as a kid. In it, the heroine needs to get a huge pearl to her love or he will die. But she has to swim a great distance to get there. So she cuts into the top of her breast and slips the pearl inside. She gets to him and saves him because of her bravery. When I read that tale, the thought of the knife slipping cleanly into the flesh of my (then merely budding) breasts made me feel all weird in the place between my legs. IÕve been like that ever since. And the very thought of sliding a knife inside me, my pussy É would cause me shivers all over. But I donÕt know if I actually thought of that when I was a kid, or later, when I began exploring BDSM for real.

Knife-play does not have to be cutting. It can just be teasing the knife along the skin, with the potential of a cut, but better yet, the adrenaline and that funny sensation where you are both kinda scared yet really tuned on. In the case of penetration of the pussy with a knife it is definitely not about cutting, as this is a fragile area! It can be a "trick" by a Domme (by telling the sub the knife is razor sharp, but it is actually dull), or it can be done with a real knife. The key is that real trust is needed, this is stuff you should not be playing with with someone you donÕt know very, very well!

LP: Are there things you just wouldn't do?

Zille: Bestiality (I think it is non-consensual as the animals donÕt have a say in the matter Ñ because they canÕt talk!), real necrophilia (we donÕt mind playing dead, but were not gonna go steal corpses!), scat play, and anything non-consensual. If you want rape, go to another site. We might play rough, but people only do what they want to do, or be done to!

LP: I see from your bio on darkplay that you have had some extremely intense experiences. When I read about the Domme that cut her name in your back.. I wondered why you continued...

Zille: Heh. Yah, so do I! IÕd had no good BDSM experiences at that point in time. I just knew what I wanted, and that IÕd find it eventually, I guess! Notice I was smart enough not to do the knife insertion with her! Someone watches out for fools and over-eager freaks, I guess!

Intense is good. But safe is even better. I read in one BDSM manual that the best thing for a Domme to do is to always leave their sub thinking "Oh, I could take a little more, next time." There is a line between pushing limits to expand a person, and just pushing because you want them to take it. That experience taught me the lesson between a good Domme and a bad one!

LP: I see you meet Alexi in college...
Who by the way is very hot! I love your line "strong enough for a man but made for a woman"

Zille: This is so terrible É I stole it from a deodorant commercial!

LP: How long before you two were lovers?

Zille:Actually, that came right away, the friendship and love were secondary. I tend to doing things bass ackwards. [grins]

LP: You two share a very loving/trusting relationship... did you.. like many other couples I know.. ever have problems with jealousy... I know from personal experiences with 3-somes that someone has always felt uncomfortable but maybe that has been because of the fact that men were involved all that testosterone Ñ lol!

Zille: Our relationship is so open and trusting because we really, really work on it. I told Alexi that I would only date her if she was willing to try poly (she never had, previous to me) and it has been her willingness to keep an open mind and her trust that I would not fuck her over that has gotten us where we are today.

In the beginning it was hard. Alexi was still learning to fight her jealous impulses (jealousy is not something we are born with, it comes from society, so it can be tamed) and I tend to get scared of being "trapped" in a monogamous relationship, so we had some very serious talks through the years. But because we talk, we deal with stuff instead of letting it fester and eat away at our love. We are not poly without rules, IÕve never seen a relationship like that that worked. A few ground rules make people feel safe, and compromise is a *good thing*. We donÕt just fuck anyone. If I crush on someone, I tell Alexi about it prior to doing anything more than flirt. If she feels fine about things, then I have a green light to have safe sex with that person. If she feels uncomfortable, for whatever reason, then I either have to pass over that person as a fuck-buddy, or I have to work at setting up dates so Alexi and I can get to know the person better and see if they are cool or not. For the site, thatÕs another story, the only rule there is to use safe sex. This is an arrangement where I donÕt feel trapped and Alexi doesnÕt feel out-of-control of the situation, so it is what works for us. Other poly couples will have different stories.

LP: I know everything on the site is for the pleasure of it is that is part of your philosophy for life?

Zille: Hell yeah! I donÕt do well in a situation that does not end in my eventual benefit and pleasure. IÕm a hedonist, a sybarite. But I donÕt take pleasure only from stuff like sex. I love doing the graphics and web design. I love learning. I love photography. I love working at home and being able to cook dinner for Alexi when she comes home from a hard day at work, or surprising her by having all the chores done. All those things make me happy, and I donÕt see the point in wasting my life being unhappy!

LP: are there any sites that inspire you?

Zille:The first BDSM site I ever saw was www.wasteland.com. We actually just had a wonderful chance to work with the really cool people from Wasteland, and I told them they had inspired me, and they were like "Yikes! What a daunting thought that is!" [Laughing] I am impressed daily with the sites that people are just doing for themselves. There are a lot of good web designers out there, way more advanced than I. I just try to learn from them without stealing from them.

LP: what are your goals for the site? for life?

Zille: Actually, the site kinda is my life right now. I want it to get big. I don Õt want to be famous, but I want to be recognized in my own right. I want DarkPlay to influence people, teach them how to them expand their sex lives and fantasies. I want to be involved with getting internet porn to be more beautiful. I donÕt think there should be the "line between erotic art and porn" that there is. I mean, "erotica" people get really snippy about their work not being called "porn." I just think thatÕs silly Ñ itÕs about sex and sexuality, isnÕt it? Of course itÕs about more, too. So is the porn I make. I think porn can be just as gorgeous, just as sensual. If I can help bring porn and art closer together, well, hell, thatÕs a lifeÕs work isnÕt it?

I really just want to make enough money so that Alexi and I can spend our lives enjoying life. I have a lot of art yet to make, and so much of life to explore. I want to get some poetry or prose published, and I want to have multimedia art shows, and I want to live in different places all over the world. In the end, I want to have the things I love doing be beneficial to more than just me. I donÕt know how or what, yet, but thatÕs just part of the fun for me. Five years ago I had no idea IÕd ever be doing my own porn site. Who knows where IÕll be in five more years? I just realized thatÕs a pretty generic answer. I mean, who doesnÕt want to have enough money to satisfy their whims, to be recognized for their work, etc. I guess that goes to show that I donÕt really know what my lifeÕs goals are beyond the next few years. I like that though. I feel free.