Most men cringe at the thought of pain or injury to their most precious jewels, but for some, the reaction is altogether different. Some find it as exciting as it is fearful. And that’s where Dommes like Ms. Toni come in. CBT, or cock and ball torture, has been her area of expertise since an epiphany she had with her current partner, William.

"I realized that torture, especially male genitorture, was a wonderful way to develop intimacy because his brain was so busy dealing with the pain, he couldn’t keep up any emotional walls and had to open himself up to me.  I was free to open myself to him and not fear a lack of reciprocity.  It was true intimacy—Technicolor intimacy—where making love was intimacy in black and white."

That was a big change from her prior motivations for CBT. She’s the first to admit it started as a way to work out some issues about her ex-husband. "I hated my ex husband, I hated sex with him (can you say dickless?) and I hated that little weenie that was always bugging me for ridiculous sex," she says. "When I met William he asked me what my kink was.  I told him that I wanted to put a man's balls on the table and go WHAP!  I explained how I hated my ex and that he was going to be the scapegoat for that hate.  I didn't hate all men, just my ex—which is why he is ex."

Much to her surprise, not only was William not afraid, but enthusiastic to start. Is that a guys with balls, or what?

By the eighth time they played, Ms. Toni had forgotten all her old hostilities to her ex, and rediscovered her old healthy libido. And its only gotten better, to the point where the two have developed an almost psychic bond in play.

"When I was playing with William it was the most amazing thing, it was like I could hear him in my head, and I could feel him open up his heart to me.  He said that I would do something just as he was thinking how nice it would be for that something to happen."

Their relationship over the last three years has grown to the point that they now teach others the joys, and technical aspects, of CBT at such conferences and groups as Living in Leather XIII, Beyond the Edge, and RCDC in Portland. Ms. Toni also does private tutoring in the area of CBT. And the way Ms. Toni teaches it, CBT is more than sex or torture, but a transcendent spiritual experience.

"The yin and yang of CBT is a lot of fun.  To teach someone to like a certain pain, first you make them feel pleasure, then you add a note of pain while keeping the pleasure up.  Increasing both pain and pleasure for a while and then decreasing pleasure and increasing pain helps build up the ability to 'invert' pain—to feel it as pleasure. The intermingling of the sensations is the trick.

"I am in nirvana when I torture him—it is like being at complete peace. I know it sounds weird that causing pain can give one peace, but if one partner is a sadist and the other a masochist, it is a wonderful, peaceful sort of synergy."

To perform CBT safely, there are certain rules. One must not leave a cock ring on or keep balls tied up for more than twenty minutes at a time or the lack of blood flow can cause the tissue to become necrotic (to die), or could cause permanent vascular damage. And as Ms. Toni says, that means "bye-bye hard-on."

"Do not break one's toys. Do not try to bend an erect penis over backwards or sideways, you can 'break' it.  Limit impact to a stiff penis—the spongiform tissue is like a bunch of little blood balloons. So I cannot stress this enough—open up the bondage every twenty minutes or so. Do something else for a bit and then tie him up again."

And be careful of what toys and tools you play with, especially when inserting anything into the urethra—crochet needles are not safe, nor are they sterile. You must sterilize tools before using them inside the urethra, and rubbing alcohol is not acceptable. Tools should be cleansed in a solution of diluted bleach to be truly sterilized.

"Do not use dumb tools as toys—splurge on urethral sounds and sterilize them.  Do not stick pins in your dick, spring for medically sterile needles. A box of 100 is around $15.  You and your sub are worth it."

And of course, it should go without saying to use gloves and condoms if you aren’t in a monogamous relationship, or fluid-bonded as it is often called.

Safety goes beyond the physical, too.

"Remember that if it is a person's first time for such a powerful experience, he or she is more likely to fall in love," Ms. Toni cautions.  "Take that responsibility seriously.  While physical pain can only be felt on a referent scale, emotional damage can be felt forever."

And for those novices to the joys of CBT, you have a fail-proof gauge as to whether your ministrations are creating the desired effect. As Ms. Toni says, the penis never lies, even when the mouth does.

"When it is stiff, it means he likes it, when it softens, it means he hates it, so Mr. Weenie tells me the truth.  The man might say he hates something like ripping clothespins off, because it hurts so much. . . But he’s  not being 100% truthful if  Mr. Weenie gets harder and stiffer and taller after I rip off clothespins. That’s when I  know his mouth cannot be accurate.  In cases such as these, I just ask him, ‘So then why did your weenie just get harder?’"

The most difficult CBT scene for William was at Kinkfest 1999.  Prior to that, one of William’s ‘hard limits’ (a limit that is not negotiable) had been urethral sounds. Despite Ms. Toni’s protests at this one thing he denied her, he stuck to his guns on the issue. Then Ms. Toni called on her friend Ms. Sharon, a registered nurse visiting from Phoenix, to help her out and supervise. Ms. Sharon just happened to bring her urethral sounds with her.

Coincidence? I think not.

William reluctantly, and fearfully consented to this play, which brought newfound pleasure to them both.

"It was so sweet sliding in.  The fear coming out of him was candy.  It was Belgian chocolate, it was Christmas and New Years. . . It was heaven.  I was sooo happy that I cried with joy. (What do you know—a sadist with a sappy side.)

"What we did was not extreme in the regular sense, but it was extreme in the amount of fear it generated.  He was even more afraid of the sounds than he  was of the needles that I have stuck under his scrotal skin."

The most extreme, hardcore scene they’ve done by most people’s standards was at an event known as Thunder in the Mountains in Denver, Colorado. This particular event does not require fluid monogamous couples doing genital play to use latex barriers.

 "I took rubbing alcohol and cleaned off his genitals and then pierced his cock in about 10 different places with a diabetic lancet to make him bleed profusely (cock wounds close quickly, so you don't get a lot of blood out of each one).

"I used his blood as lube to masturbate him.  I loved putting the needle through the tip over and over to get a big fat glob of blood.  He screamed so hard when he came, because after orgasm the pain level that was dulled by sexual excitement kicks in.  Not to mention that I sprayed those wounds with alcohol afterwards before I painted him with Neosporin.

"When I was done, a friend of mine got me a paper towel and I put my handprints on it.  I still have that paper towel.  To me that was a Valentine.  Sick, my mom would say, but we like it."

And isn’t that all that really matters?

For Ms. Toni, who has had fantasies of dominating men since she was sixteen years old, male genitorture is the ultimate experience.

"You can take him to heaven with one hand and to hell with the other and alternate between the two contrasts.  Talk about a power rush!"

If you’d like to learn more about Ms. Toni and see some great pics of CBT on her sub William, (including some VERY innovative uses for hairbrushes)  please visit her website:

Ms. Toni’s CBT Extravaganza

The ABC’s of CBT

Clothespins: One of the cheapest and most effective CBT tools ever made. Not to mention readily available at Wal-Mart. Look for plastic ones that have a little more "bite" to them, and can be cleaned in bleach water. The crafts section often carries tiny clothespins that are fantastic for CBT.

Cock Rings: Rings that go around the base of the cock, usually behind the balls. Can be made of leather, or rubber, or metal. CAUTION—metal cock rings cannot be cut off in emergencies, so they are a safety hazard. Their function is trapping blood in the penis during erection to prolong the erection. They also constrict the urethra, which will make any orgasm more painful.

Urethra: The membranous tube that extends down the shaft into the bladder. Introduction of non-sterile objects can cause a urinary tract infection.

Urethral sounds: Medical devices made of metal designed for insertion into the urethra.
 

 
 

About the Authoress:

Diana Price is a photographer and a writer of horror and dark eroticism. A former journalist and public relations
whore, she is new to the world of fiction and poetry.

Diana is working on her erotic horror novel The Rape of Angels, and a photographic  series on religious/Catholic
fetishes called Whores for Christ. The excerpt from The Rape of Angels in this issue is her first published
fiction.  Visit the Garden of Unearthly Delights.